February 2012
13 posts
Every day
I hear the same thing from my daughters dad. “Your fat and ugly, your a shitty low life person. no one will ever love you. Etc.” He says a lot worse but I just don’t understand why. How can someone go from being the one who cheered me on to the one who hurts me every day? I know I shouldnt listen but I just feel that one day he’ll be there for riley again.
:(
I haven’t slept in 24 hours….my body wont let me. I’m stressed. No one knows what I’m going through. I put a smile on my face and pretend everything is good but I don’t know when it will be. No one sees the other side …. I have the biggest knot in my stomach.
:)
I love my Riley. I just want us to get an apartment already so it can go back to being just us two everyday. I’m hoping I get a call back this week so something good can come. Things have felt good lately. Just minus the drama Martin still gives me, it’s like he never wants Ri and I to be happy. Only he can be.
Vday was simple this year, we went out to eat at Joe’s Crab Shack...
Wah.
I’m so sleepy. I just want to cuddle up with tizzy and get some sleeps. :(((
January 2012
66 posts
and this is always to you.
Is this all a game? I hate that you see me this way. I am followed, I am lost. Where I go, I’ll never know. Was it a mistake? Too many nights end up this way. I won’t let it give me hope You don’t like to sleep alone. You trade a taste Like currency, So blinded by, Lying here awake at night. And I knew the cost, And I’ll have no remorse, And just like before, I’ll...
.....
I have come to a point where I find myself in tears right now because I need help with Riley, and taking her to school/picking her up this week and you don’t help. You ignore the calls, and when I ask you basically say you cant. I never knew you would actually choose someone over your own child…..i feel heartbroke over this, but I know I can do it. Once I finish school it will all pay...
ha
I really really almost hate my daughters dad…..
why was I with him for so many years? I called it that his ass would never change. He just got worse, and now is never there for Riley. I had a day filled with doing things for her and took her to the circus and asked him to help me, and no he cant because he’s all fucked up from his shitty girlfriend. or ex whatever. &tonight needed...
I gotta pretend things are good with this smile on my face……
I have to pretend like I don’t care.
so
I just did something I probably shouldn’t have…….but when someone says I’m a “pussy” and not gonna do anything about it, I mean it pisses me off.
shit shit shit.
well
there goes that…….taking a bunch of nyquil and going to bed for hours. </3
ooooo
not gonna spill that shit
but I also won’t let it slide.
momma bear on the prowwwwllllll. eff that hoe!
;)
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